thought you'd like to know..

Honestly, i get the feeling that whatever i post on here is going to be misinterpreted(sp?). I feel like i can't really talk about my true feelings and what's actually really bothering me, because i know that no matter how i phrase it, somebody's going to feel betrayed by me.

So, just to let everyone know, I'm never really going to post anything on here expressing exactly how I'm truly feeling. I have another blog for that, but I'm not quite ready to talk about my feelings to anybody else (at least not anybody that i know). Because I'm afraid that if I post any of my deeper thoughts on here, they're going to blow up in my face (like everything else does).

I'm pretty good at putting on a smile and acting like everything is ok. Even when I'm having a bad day and somebody asks me why I'm upset, I'll never really tell that person what's truly bothering me. I really can't afford to lose anymore of my deeper thoughts to people that I may truly not be able to trust with them; because I just can't stand to look at those thoughts and those personal feelings after everybody else has had their chance to destroy what may be left of them.


So as far as everyone is concerned, this post is about something happy; something worthy of a cheerful picture; something... completely fake.

Bloodhound Gang 0_o

lol i love this song, it's so funny.
the video's pretty creepy though :]


Bloodhound Gang - Bad Touch

stop confusing me!

WTFFF?!
k so my blog is working now.
stupid computer!

Penny is eating my cheese and crackers now.
and i cant get mad at her because she's too cute.
i'm hungryy...

STUPID BLOG!

AS YOU CAN SEE, MY GOSH DARNIT STUPID EFFING BLOG WON'T WORK FOR SOME REASON.
today was a really crappy day. the stupid hallways were all wet from the snow on peoples feet and i slipped and fell flat on my ass twice today! and everyone in the hallway just kinda looked at me like i was such a dumbass. stupid snow!
PS ~ this font is super small because if i make it any bigger, u won't be able to read it becuzz my dumbass blog only shows a little tiny bit of my top post. RUDE!

friends :]

So, i just wanted to take the time to mention how much my friends really mean to me!
Without them, I seriously wouldn't be where I am today...

Chels - ur pretty annoying at times, (welll alot of the time) buttt ur one of the few people who actually understands my cornyness, and actually accepts me for being such a cornball! we've had some pretty rough times and im not gonna lie, you do piss me off alot! but that's okay because i know we'll always find a way to work through everything; we always have. i love you! thank you for sticking by my side and for putting up with my unusual sense of humor!

Denise - wow! i don't even know where to start! centipedes, halloween party, driveway! We've gotten so close in the past year and I'm so glad we're such good friends. I honestly have no idea how i ever survived my childhood without you, even though you were right up the street from me the whole time! I'll admit, it realllly annoys me when you say things like "most greatest!" or "most craziest!" or any other most -est. Butttt thats okay because ur the most awesomest! <<>

Katie - I'm so glad that you're a part of my life, and that I know I can always trust you to accept me for who I am. I admire your strength and your ability to stick to your many inspirational beliefs. Your refusal to ever have a sip of alcohol in your life has truly shown me that it's okay not to follow what other people are doing, just because it's the "cool" thing to do. I love how I can be open with my feelings around you and how you won't ever judge me. Thank you! i love you!

Tuffy <3

Tuffy Buddy, I just wanted you to know that I think about you all the time. I miss you so much and I really can't believe that you're actually gone. These past few months have been crazy, and I just wish that you were here to help me through everything. Christmas is coming up, and I really don't know how I'm going to get through the holidays without your knocking down the tree to explore all the presents and jumping up at your stocking just to get a wiff of the catnip inside :]

We had our first real snowfall of the season today. And the first thing I saw when I looked out the window were your sisters' little paw prints across the driveway. I know you were there in spirit bud. I know how much you loved your daily adventures prancing through the yard, trying to plan some sort of way to get the fish out of the pond without actually touching the water.

Penny really misses you. She wouldn't let us anywhere near her for at least a month after you passed because she noticed you were gone and thought that we would send her away next. Sabrina wasn't really herself either. At first, she just kept moaning because she knew something bad had happened, and she could see how depressed we all were.

I'm sorry it's taken we so long for me to tell you all this, and to tell you how much I really miss you! It's just been really hard for me. I keep trying to block it out, but the fact that your dish is gone and your bed is no longer at the window reminds me each day that I'll never be able to slip you some extra turkey or cuddle with you in my bed at night again.

I know it was your time. I know that you were suffering and in alot of pain. You never really did have a healthy life. But you sure did have tons and tons of love.



I love you so much baby. So much...

<333333333

Thank you!

I'm beginning to realize more and more that as we go through life, we tend to appreciate the blessings we have less and less. We take for granted the simple things we have in life each and every day. I never really took the time to thank the people in my life just for being there and helping me through whatver problems I had encountered. But not until recently have I discovered just how lucky I am; which really makes me feel guilty. Sure I have worries, everybody does. But I now realize how important it is to just pay as close attention to even the slightest worries the people in our lives may have, because we never truly know when those worries may turn into an even bigger obstacle than anybody could have ever imagined. I truly believe that without at least one true friend, life is nearly impossible. And it may take an unexpected turn just to see how valuable those friends may be; and how others are simply a waste of our time. I don't mean to sound really harsh or judgemental, but I can honestly say that finding the good in people seems to be getting harder and harder for me. And that's really shocking, even for myself to hear, because I'd hate to become one of those mistrusting people who really just wants to isolate themself from any further contact until they miraculously discover some sort of way to turn back time so that they can try to save anybody in need of help.

I just really wish we didnt have to deal with such an ungrateful, abusive world. We constantly put others down and make our own minor problems seem like the most important setbacks that the world has ever seen. Just today, I was walking down the hallway and it seemed like every single side conversation involved somebody complaining about the smallest of problems.

"my parents grounded me"

"i have so much homework"

"my favorite store went out of business"

"i had an 'argument' with my boyfriend"

"i hate the way my hair looks today"

"i got a cut slip"

....yeah, I think you get the point.

And you know what pisses me off even more? I can't honestly say that I'm not one of those people. Just this weekend I was complaining because I had a shitload of homework to finish up in such a small amount of time. What's wrong with our country's way of thinking these days?

Seriously, I just wishhhh that I could somehow show everyone just how important it is to count our blessings. Because before we know it, our lives can change in the blink of an eye, and we may very well lose sight of just how important it is to thank our family and friends for what they do.

So thank you mom, for always understanding where i come from. thank you for listening to my problems and for telling me you love me, even if we are fighting with each other.

Thank you dad, for accepting my faults and always telling me how much i mean to you.

Thank you Chelsea for sticking by my side since the good old Saint Mary's days.

Thank you Denise for showing me that im not the only crazy, nature-loving person on our street.

And thank you Katie, for showing me that friendship truly is one of the best gifts that we can ever give another person. I love you!

:)

K so initially, I decided to make this blog because of my English class blog. I thought, hey what the heck, everybody else is making one, so i might as well make one too. Honestly, I know nothing about blogging. I'm more of a facebook kind of person. And the fact that I've already run out of things to talk about here just goes to prove that my life as of right now, aside from my constantly changing morning star farms addictions, is pretty boring. Although I'm sure I'll spend the next week searching for interesting topics to blog about. "Blog about?" Well I guess I've got my blog jargon down for now. In the meantime, try not to feel too discouraged from reading my upcoming posts. I promise they won't come off as pointless as this one.