<3

I love and miss them both so much <3

this year really sucked

so basically, i never ever ever would have imagined all this crap thats been going on in the past year. I mean sure alot of good things have happened and im grateful that im healthy and alive, but i would just love to go back in time to like the beginning of last summer, when I didnt have so much crap on my mind. So here's a quick recap of this year:

bad things:

• tuffy died
• my grandma got sick/moved into a crazy lunatic nursing home where she doesnt belong
• precalculus has officially been the worst class ive ever taken
• the stress and constant lack of sleep from having so much homework has just about killed me
• ive pretty much lost one of my closest friends
• i didnt go to prom (and no, it wasnt because i didnt want to)
• my mom was diagnosed with cancer
• i had to quit track, which was a very hard decision, because i cannot handle the stress of everything combined
• penny disappeared after going outside one morning and she is probably dead
• im not going to be getting much sleep for the rest of the school year because the workload is insane and finals are coming up
• i really really really miss penny

good things:

• beena is still alive
• ive gotten really close with one of my friends

eh

things are way too emotional right now for me to be spilling them all over this blog. plus my stupid blog keeps trying to piss me off by refusing to pop up on my screen, saying that the "operation has been aborted." Of all the people that seem to be abandoning me lately, i honestly didnt think that my BLOG would be one of them (not that my blog is a person or anything..). Anyyways, i probably won't be posting any more personal blogs on here. I've decided that the best way for me to deal with my problems is to just keep them inside. Because no matter how i try to talk about them, they always get twisted into some other ridiculous notion of how everyone else views my life. I'm not trying to bore you with any of my problems, or what one of my friends likes to call my "jesus freak" issues; again, NOT helping the situation. Because it's pretty obvious that nobody cares enough to completely listen. Actually, I take that back. There is one person that i actually feel i can really talk to about anything. It's thanks to that person that I've basically been able to make it through the past week. Unfortunately, I don't get to talk to that person very often. So i guess for now, I'm going to have to try to be my own biggest fan... wonder how that'll turn out.